It was a cold October night and a deep chill had set upon the land. Sitting alone on my couch, I was down in the dumps. Summer gone, goldfish dead, my once overflowing stashes of popcorn now reduced to nary a kernel. But in a moment of sudden inspiration, I realized that only one thing could save my soddened spirits – liquor!
I wanted a "hot toddy". Now, Im not the kind of guy who knows what a "hot toddy" is, but they say it often on the television box and it sounds fantastic. Like, real good. Like, you cant f**kin buy this kind of happiness at a supermarket kind of good. So I set upon the quest of procuring a "hot toddy", realizing even as I took my first, hesitant steps that this was a gargantuan task, perhaps the most challenging procurement of my many years upon this Blue Earth.
But behold! A shimmering God of an App, cresting the waves of futuristic imagination, Thirstie appeared before me! "So you want a hot toddy?" it asked, in a dull yet friendly robotic voice. "Yes!" I exclaimed, stopping for just a moment to wonder what geniuses, what true marvels of men & women must have built this glorious App. "I do!" And into my open arms, Thirstie delivered both a "hot toddy" recipe, AND the seamless means to acquire the necessary ingredients. It was a true miracle, indeed!
And so with my spirits aroused, my toddy heated, and my prospects bright once again, I rode happily into the sunset. Reflecting upon this truly glorious experience, I have no choice but to give this App a five star rating: "Dope as Hell".